Consent is mutually agreed and enthusiastically given on every occasion, and during, sexual activity.”
Let’s break that down!
Mutually agreed: all people involved have the capacity to agree and make informed decisions.
They must:
- Be over the age of 16
- Have the capacity to give consent
- Not under the influence of drugs or inhibited by alcohol
- Not have a mental health or physical condition that prevents them from making an informed decision
- Be consenting to the conditions of the specific act (i.e. on the condition of using protection)
Enthusiastically given: they use language or actions that indicate they are excited and interested in going further so they are:
- Giving verbal affirmation such as “yes” “keep doing that” “don’t stop”
- Physically engaging with you
- Not being pressured, threatened or coerced into saying yes
On every occasion: you need to ask for someone’s consent on every occasion you engage in any sexual activity with them.
- Just because you have engaged in sexual activity before doesn’t mean they want to do it again
- If you engaged in sexual activity the night before, they may not want to do it again in the morning
And during: it is important to make sure you check in throughout or when you want to do a new thing, make sure they are happy, comfortable and want to keep going
- If you move to a new activity or position, check they are happy with that
- Ensure they are comfortable with the speed things are moving
- Make sure they know they can ask you to stop at any time, without needing to give an reason or explanation
Sexual activity includes everything from touching, kissing through to sexual intercourse.
- When it comes to sex, what individuals like and want matter!
- Something you might not consider to be sex could be someone else’s interpretation of sex, for example: mutual masturbation
- Some people may have kinks or enjoy specific acts, ensure you communicate and only ever do what you are happy to do
Find out more from our Relationships, Consent, and Sex campaign